I am amazed at how much it has become important for me to have approval of others for what I do or say ! I did not realise it earlier so clearly that I have become almost a prisoner of my own thoughts initiated by the imaginary reactions of others. And I can say for sure there would be only a few other such wasteful activities ! In spite of maintaining a strong external shell, the internal state has been quite fluid and messy. The consequences are becoming clear now. Being an advocate to look at life from a bigger perspective, how and where my own view became so narrow for myself is a bit puzzling to me. But then life itself is the biggest school for learning and thankfully you never outgrow it ! Now is the time to pick up a new lesson- to be happy and comfortable in your own skin.