Simple rules

Isn't it strange that the same simple rules work for both - to sustain life means our existence on this planet earth( in a broader sense) and our own personal happiness.

Respect and appreciate life in all forms and banish the narrow limits of religion, caste, colour , region, nationality.

Ability to distinguish between our 'needs' and 'wants'.

It is easy for one more reason, it has to start with me only !

Simplyfy life - 2

What sister Shivani says, I am trying to put it down for myself to rub it it in more effectively.

What happens on the surface is- We face a situation and respond to it.

What happens inside is- A situation creates a thought, the thought creates a feeling and that feeling leads to the action- our response.

But all this happens so fast that we(most of us) don't even notice it. Our responses are automatic and very fast.

We do not even think if we had a choice to act differently. This type of automated response is reaction. As most of the others around us also act in a similar way we not only justify but accept our reactions as the only possible way of responding !

What it leads to is- feeling of powerlessness, no control and blame game.

The gap between the changing situations and our response is widening which leads to set of negative thoughts not only for the self but for others also.

We underestimate the power of self - after all what will change even if I do, how can this much change make a difference ? But the point is, not to get overwhelmed by such thoughts as for sure it will make a difference to you and the entire universe !

The idea is- a thought is a seed which grows into our action in general, our response here. We need to work very consciously on this step. We can start with situations which have passed and stop and analyze it in steps of thought-feeling-action and prepare ourselves.

We must realise and accept that the outcome which generally is pain does not come from outside, it is our own creation. 

In nut shell - out of the fight between the situation and the self, the point of focus and attention should be self- something which is in our control.

Simplify life - 1

The way life has become in this age of fast change, in spite of so many comforts, we feel some kind of pain, discontentment. This is an attempt to analyze and help myself to come out of it with the help of sister Shivani. I try my hand at reproducing what sister Shivani has to offer in her self help management series.

What actually happens in our day to day life is- we face different situations, small/big in both professional and personal life. It may be as small as your house help not arriving without notice, getting stuck in a traffic jam or much more serious as separation, relationship breaking, loosing a job or worst death of a loved one !

What is common in all these situation? It is the change, change from the state we get so used to !

Our general response to any of the situation is - discomfort, pain, to a different extent for different situations. Our ability to handle the situation dwindles down when we are in pain. The situation appears much more serious and big than the actual when we are in pain.

Why this happens? Because we focus too much on the problem/situation, which most of the times, is out of our control !! Instead,  if we focus our attention on the solution or even better our own response to the situation, we shall fare much better. This is where, we need to work mostly on.      

My response to the situation is the key point to ponder over and start with !
 
A nice thought I read this morning

Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated- Confucius

My beacon of light !

Being a female by gender of species homo sapiens, I play several roles- a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a mother, a daughter in law , a student top the list. Being all of these simultaneously often leaves me in difficult situations which make me wonder actually 'what really is the meaning of all this?'

Sometimes I feel it is better to be numb to all this and just be lost in the flow of life even if it is all materialistic(something that makes me uncomfortable, not that I am a saint with no wishes, but I do have my limits) ! One thing is obvious to me certainly I am not the one born with this clarity but I am one who wish to have this ! This implies pain to some extent but worth undergoing !

On my way to find myself and my purpose following are the people, resources which have been of help at the various levels. I would be happy if someone else also finds his or her way through one of them.

1.) This is the latest but something which is teaching me the real way to be kinder to myself and gives me explicit method of healing and helping myself and in turn others. This just reinforced my belief that to heal others first heal yourself.
 It is in Hindi but you can find some other videos on youtube in English and some videos of this series with English subtitles.

http://www.awakeningwithbrahmakumaris.org/self-management

2.)The great ones whose teachings I can understand and appreciate to some extent-

A.) Swami Vivekananda (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vivekananda)

If faith in ourselves had been more extensively taught and practiced, I am sure a very large portion of the evils and miseries that we have would have vanished.

Swami Vivekananda

B.) J Krishnamurti(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiddu_Krishnamurti)

Among the legends what Hitler and Mussolini were only the primary spokesmen for the attitude of domination and craving for power that are in the heart of almost everyone. Until the source is cleared, there will always be confusion and hate, wars and class antagonisms.

Jiddu Krishnamurti

3.) It makes sense to me what Dr. Marshall Rosenberg has to say.

http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/aboutnvc/aboutnvc.htm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dpk5Z7GIFs

Shouldn't peace, love and harmony be also included in the list of our basic needs and we all should  strive to achieve these? They are a priority on my list and hopefully on yours too :)

Being human !

One of our serious lacking as human beings is our inability to accept others as the sum total of good and bad together. We label people as good or bad. Being judgemental comes very naturally to us.

Probably this has to do with the way we are brought up. Our culture thrives on the basic principle of win of good over evil ! I have nothing against this but I am certainly against the idea of labeling someone as God/good and the other as devil/evil ! I believe no one is either. Everyone is a mix of the two and we act under the influence of dark and light under difference circumstances of life. Sum total of that constitute our lives. What varies for different people is the number of times we stray into the dark or the light side.

What we need to acknowledge is this, what makes our lives, is our behavior, our way of being. How I live, how I behave certainly gets affected by the society around me but if you see the society behaves like I do. It is a circle. It comes to you and it goes from you. Let us focus on the part that goes from us. The other part which comes to us will automatically change. 

I end this one of my favorite dialogue from one of my favorite movie-Harry Potter. Albus Dumbledore puts it very nicely for me -

We have all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act upon. That 's who we really are.
 
and I add to it- And to stray into the dark side sometimes is very much part of being human !

Happy New Year !

Let all beings be happy; let all beings be peaceful; let all beings be blissful- Swami Vivekanand.

This says beautifully my new year wish. Wish you all a very Happy and prosperous new year.

The year ended with a visit to a museum, Ice House, Chennai. (http://www.vivekanandahouse.org)where Swami Vivekananda stayed for sometime in 1897. It is a small museum in size but surely much much larger in leaving the impact on you. I wonder where and how did we lost track of the vision Swami Vivekanada had at that time ! The vision which is as much relevant today as it was then !!  Of course, without doubt the loss is ours as humanity not only as a nation !!

My humble suggestion- to be a better human being try following these two Gurus(teachers)-Swami Vivekananda and Dr. Marshall Rosenberg(a glimpse-- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dpk5Z7GIFs).  You will not be disappointed :)